I think my friend might be a genious?

it's pretty good- i question the form a little bit, the way its constructed provides for too many pauses. theyre all at the end of a line rather than where the idea ends- for example, i'd definitely take away the comma after bushes- the pause takes away from the excellent imagery induced by that statement. and if he's going to give old english a shot, it needs to be employed universally throughout the poem- the mix of modern english and old english makes it seem like hes trying a bit too hard to sound like a clic poet, and that isnt what poetry is about.